Caregivers often experience a strong sense of feeling overwhelmed and often on their own when caring for their loved ones through difficult times not many can understand. Kids Court recognizes the struggles and obstacles that our caregivers often experience while dealing with many systems and agencies. We strive to support caregivers and offer resources and practical tools that they can easily access and use.
One of our favorite tools is the "Caregiver Cheat Sheet."
CAREGIVER CHEAT SHEET!
Important things to know and remember!
1.Remember that children, all ages, show anxiety and stress in different ways. It can look like defiance, silliness, withdrawing (looks like depression, sadness, numbness, not caring) and bad behavior. Patience is essential as they often cannot verbalize their feelings and may not even know why they are behaving a certain way.
2.When you’ve been told not to discuss the case, it does not mean that the child cannot talk with you and share with you their feelings, their thoughts, and their memories. You can encourage them to share with you and let them know you are safe person. If they share any new and/or additional information or possible evidence with you, you must let their attorney, advocate, or social worker know. It is important that when they share these difficult feelings and events with you that you remain calm, you do not get emotional and you just let them talk. If you get upset they will learn that adults find it difficult to hear what has happened to them and they will not feel good about sharing again on the stand or in therapy. This will hurt them significantly in the long run.
3.Never ask leading questions, for example “How many times did that happen to you?” “Did ……… do that to you?” “Are you sad that ……..”
4.So if you are wondering what you can and should say here are some examples!“Tell me everything” “Tell me more” “You can tell me anything” But most importantly listen and nod and listen more. Thank them for trusting you!
5.Remind them that telling the truth is the most important thing and tell them its ok to feel however they feel about court. They just need to know that the deputy in the room is there to keep them safe, the judge is the referee and it is up to the judge and/or jury to make the big decisions, not them.
6.Practice 4 square breathing with them!
7.If bedtime is difficult, please ask us about STUFFED ANIMAL WARRIORS!
8. Remember that it is normal to feel overwhelmed at times. The trick is knowing that this is hard on you too. Take a few minutes to just breathe. Go outside, listen to music, watch a good movie, and/or do whatever you need to do that is healthy and caring for you. The better you feel, the better yo can handle what is going on with your kiddo.
9. We are here for you! Shoot us an email to [email protected] and we will get back to you ASAP!
If you are a foster parent consider joining a local foster parent association. They are wonderful supports and often gather and have activities where you can relax and enjoy your time with your kiddo! Need respite? Utilize the county social worker, a support network or a Foster Parent Association so you can take breaks when you need to!
One of our favorite tools is the "Caregiver Cheat Sheet."
CAREGIVER CHEAT SHEET!
Important things to know and remember!
1.Remember that children, all ages, show anxiety and stress in different ways. It can look like defiance, silliness, withdrawing (looks like depression, sadness, numbness, not caring) and bad behavior. Patience is essential as they often cannot verbalize their feelings and may not even know why they are behaving a certain way.
2.When you’ve been told not to discuss the case, it does not mean that the child cannot talk with you and share with you their feelings, their thoughts, and their memories. You can encourage them to share with you and let them know you are safe person. If they share any new and/or additional information or possible evidence with you, you must let their attorney, advocate, or social worker know. It is important that when they share these difficult feelings and events with you that you remain calm, you do not get emotional and you just let them talk. If you get upset they will learn that adults find it difficult to hear what has happened to them and they will not feel good about sharing again on the stand or in therapy. This will hurt them significantly in the long run.
3.Never ask leading questions, for example “How many times did that happen to you?” “Did ……… do that to you?” “Are you sad that ……..”
4.So if you are wondering what you can and should say here are some examples!“Tell me everything” “Tell me more” “You can tell me anything” But most importantly listen and nod and listen more. Thank them for trusting you!
5.Remind them that telling the truth is the most important thing and tell them its ok to feel however they feel about court. They just need to know that the deputy in the room is there to keep them safe, the judge is the referee and it is up to the judge and/or jury to make the big decisions, not them.
6.Practice 4 square breathing with them!
7.If bedtime is difficult, please ask us about STUFFED ANIMAL WARRIORS!
8. Remember that it is normal to feel overwhelmed at times. The trick is knowing that this is hard on you too. Take a few minutes to just breathe. Go outside, listen to music, watch a good movie, and/or do whatever you need to do that is healthy and caring for you. The better you feel, the better yo can handle what is going on with your kiddo.
9. We are here for you! Shoot us an email to [email protected] and we will get back to you ASAP!
If you are a foster parent consider joining a local foster parent association. They are wonderful supports and often gather and have activities where you can relax and enjoy your time with your kiddo! Need respite? Utilize the county social worker, a support network or a Foster Parent Association so you can take breaks when you need to!
